Hate List

It has been so long since I've written in my poor neglected little weblog. I hate to break the cyber silence with a diatribe, but sometimes the rage becomes too much, and what better place to spew it than the world wide web??

I've been living in Palestine for almost a year now. Usually I enjoy the people, culture, food and language. But there are isolated episodes of intense frusteration. And I feel I have a right to list off the things that I can't stand about this place.

1. Arab Men in general. Specifically, the way men feel they have a perfect right to talk to and hit on young foreign girls who ride in taxis by themselves, though they would never dream of doing the same to young Palestinian girls.

2. The six day work week. What the fuck?? Not only are these people occupied, they have the urge to drive themselves into extinction by resting only one day a week. That is perhaps correlated to how limited movement is here; if you can't really go anywhere fun on your weekend, might as well work every day but Friday.

3. Passive-agression. Ok, so this isn't limited to Palestine, but I'm in the middle of a fierce campaign of it directed at me by my boyfriend's mother, who is hoping it will culminate in my engagement to her son.

4. Billboards. In the month I was home, the street I take every day from Jifna to Ramallah has become plastered with billboards. I can't even see the steep hills and olive trees I used to love to admire; the ugly signs are in the way. And it's not like they are good advertisements either. They are cheaply made, badly designed billboards. So, so ugly. And this is one of the aspects of a larger problem: I walk through Ramallah and see its' potential, and see how "progress" is ruining its beauty. Perhaps this is just a phase it is going through as it develops, like an awkward adolescent.

5. The lack of Free Love. No place is perfect, and I realize that the West Bank has it way easier than places like Afghanistan and Iran, but I am feeling very very constricted here. Why is it so wrong to hold my boyfriend's hand in the street, or even, blasphemy of blasphemies, kiss him in public if I feel like it? But the unwritten rules about public affection are the least of my worries. More troublesome to me are the strictly traditional relationships allowed between men and women (and between men and men and women and women, for that matter). It's engagement or nothing, baby. And so where does that leave me? I love my boy, but I don't know, at this moment in time, if this love is forever, or even if I want to BE married. Ever. Can I exist in this culture, where my relationship is regarded as riding a fine line between sin and damnation?

6. Village Gossips. Need I say more?

7. Stares. Yes, I look different than you. SO WHAT???